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14 things a man can do at the supermarket
Visualised by archtomato On Monday, January 9, 2006 at 6:12 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

14 things a man can do at the supermarket while his wife/gf/partner/female friend/mother is taking her time:

01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people’s trolleys when they aren’t looking.

02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.

04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: ‘Code 3 in Housewares… and see what happens.

05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on credit.

06. Move a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department? and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.

08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”

09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: “PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!”

13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream “NO!…It’s those voices again!!!”
And last but not least:

14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while… then yell loudly: “There’s no toilet paper in here!”

Cheers.

ps: I like the last one.

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Archtomato

Archtomato . ~~Oxy~~Moron .
Laughing at Gilded Butterflies

Archtomato works in the IT security industry and has managed to convince his bosses for the past 10 years that his best work is yet to come.

Archtomato is a coffee nut, a photographer without focus, a traveler who can't read maps, a diver who floats all too easily and a champion of world peace.

He is an avid practitioner of the dark side of the force; admires Chuck Norris, Paris Hilton and collects vintage Batman comics. Just like the Horizon, Time Dilation, Flying pigs, Tax Reliefs and possibly, the "Opposition", he believes he is more of a concept than a corporeal being.

Archtomato believes that the true nature of man is decided in the battle between the conscious mind and the desires of the subconscious and that the evil of man's subconscious is often too strong to resist. The only way to win is to deny it battle.

He now lives in a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, smelly beavers, zits, herpes, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, conscription, yellow bananas, stupid people, nightmares, dog whisperers,Gamma Ray Bursts, Nuke Baddies and sings badly but regularly in the bathroom.

Tomatoes were sacrificed in the making of this website, contents and for the continual existence of its owner.

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Still going strong in an inane work full of Ozone Depletion, Data Breaches, Chuck Norris, Tough Cookies, Mangy Dogs, Zits, Scurvy, Ninjas, Racism, Pollution, Herpes, Festivus , Broccoli, Mimes, Ghost Whisperer, Smelly Beavers, Petya, Donald Trump, Adolescence, Gravity, Pin Worms, Maths, Black Holes, Jedis, Cuban Cigars, Quick Sand, Methamphetamie, Ransomware and Nuke Baddies. Archtomato.com® reserves the full rights to all materials found on this domain. All works are commisioned and owned by Archtomato.com®, unless explicitly stated and are protected by international copyright laws. Archtomato.com® shall not be held liable should these materials be distributed without the explicit written permission of Archtomato.com®. Not Suitable for Dummies, Feminists, Animal Rights Activists, Scientologists and Dead People. Powered by 125% Freshly Locally Squeezed Tomato Juice.