14 things a man can do at the supermarket 
Visualised by archtomato On Monday, January 9, 2006 at 6:12 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

14 things a man can do at the supermarket while his wife/gf/partner/female friend/mother is taking her time:

01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people’s trolleys when they aren’t looking.

02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.

04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: ‘Code 3 in Housewares… and see what happens.

05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on credit.

06. Move a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department? and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.

08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”

09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: “PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!”

13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream “NO!…It’s those voices again!!!”
And last but not least:

14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while… then yell loudly: “There’s no toilet paper in here!”

Cheers.

ps: I like the last one.

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No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
The Course of Time 
Visualised by archtomato On Sunday, January 8, 2006 at 6:51 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

You must understand that our presence here does not alter history. You and I meet here because we are compelled to. We have always met here.

History is irredeemable.

Drop a stone into a rushing river, the current simply courses around it and flows on as if the obstruction were never there. You and I are pebbles, and have even less chance of disrupting history.

The continuum of history simply is too strong, too resilient.

– Kain

Soul Reaver 2, Legacy of Kain

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No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Monster Me 
Visualised by archtomato On Saturday, January 7, 2006 at 6:30 Hrs | Minimum B.S.
Your Monster Profile

War Vampire

You Feast On: Grass

You Lurk Around In: Hearts of Women

You Especially Like to Torment: Boys Who Wear Make-up

Cheers.

ps: Nice pic, in a weird sort of way.

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No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Six Things 
Visualised by archtomato On Friday, January 6, 2006 at 5:00 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

All I need is just 6 things.

1. Primary Capital.

2. A lot of experiences.

3. Chances that come again and again.

4. Everlasting Luckiness.

5. Unlimited Grace.

6. Aanantham back on 2130hrs time slot.

God, please make it true… Ameen.

Cheers

ps: If old is gold, why do people sell their old gold for new ones?

ps2: yeah, thats right, i follow mega-serials too. And, im proud of it.

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No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
I am Watching you 
Visualised by archtomato On Wednesday, January 4, 2006 at 7:43 Hrs | Minimum B.S.
Everybody’s heard that there’s no privacy on the internet, but you don’t appreciate how true that is until you’ve actually run a website.  There is SO NO PRIVACY WHATSOEVER on the internet.   I might freak some people out by writing this, but, at the risk of alienating a few readers, I’m gonna tell it like it is.  Here’s what I can see about the traffic on and around my site:
  • I can see what pages you’ve been looking at and for how long.  If you’re spending inordinate amounts of time staring at my picture, that shit jumps out at me when I log on to my site.
  • I can see which links you’ve clicked.
  • I can see how many times a day you check out my site.  (Note:  my close friends and family check my site anywhere from 1-5 times a day.  Most other people check my site once or twice a day. People who click my site 100+ times a day are not cool.  If this is you, please quit it. I don’t care if you just keep the tab open and refresh the page a lot while you’re at work; quit it.  It’s Bad
  • I can see your IP address. Sometimes it comes up as a number; sometimes it also shows the name of the company you work for. Sometimes the name of your hometown is written out.
  • I can see how you get here, and the first site you visit after you leave.
  • I can see who posts comments and who e-mails me. Some guys will flame me in the comments, and then send me an e-mail pretending they’re another person.  What am I, stupid?
  • I can see who links to my site. Sometimes people post a link to my site on theirs, along with a word or two about how bad I suck.  I see that shit almost immediately.
  • If you send a link to my site in an e-mail, and the person on the recieving end clicks on the link, I know about that, too.  I can’t read the e-mail, but I do know about it, and some information about how it was sent.
  • I can see who’s Googled me or searched for me on any major search engine.  I can see the terms used in the search.
  • I can see who’s looked up my registration to try and find my real name and address. 

There you have it. I want to make it clear that I do not collect this stuff on purpose, and I do not do anything with the information.

I do not spend any time investigating people’s IP addresses, and this site does not use cookies or anything like that; I see this stuff because of reports generated automatically by my webhost. They show up when I log in to my site.

Think about it. If I don’t care about or use any of this information, or even work at collecting it, what the hell goes on with the sites that do?

Cheers.
ps: Yes, i know, Its scary …

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No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Activity Report 010106 
Visualised by archtomato On Tuesday, January 3, 2006 at 9:53 Hrs | Minimum B.S.
Ok ok,
 
Met up with half the kampung the other day. All those in attendence:
 
– Tok
– Nightwing
– Small Hafiz
– Longan and the missus
– And of coz the Tomato
 
Some members absent were:
– Gianto
– Buaya
– Joe
 
Went for dinner at Bukit Panjang Coffee Shop and then had small talk.
 
– Small Hafiz is comtemplating a career as a nurse.
– Nitewing is gonna do his bachelor’s degree in management at SIM
– and Tok …. well tok just exists.
– Longan is still managing his dad’s business and the huge MPV that he now drives
 
Tok now plays with PSP. Gone are the days when he played with paper aeroplanes and gundum models. He still cracks rasicts jokes primarily at me. But now they are actually funny. Ever since his left brain got damaged, he has been rather queer. He has lost weight now and is looking way better than before. Nitewing and Longan are getting fat sitting on their underwear. Other than that, All is fine i guess.
 
Cheers
ps: Tok is still loony.

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No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Cloning 
Visualised by archtomato On Monday, January 2, 2006 at 7:30 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

I don’t have to tell you that there are plenty of good reasons to want your own clone:

a. Spare parts.

b. Slave labor.

c. Decoy in case of assassination attempts.

d. Source of excellent practical jokes on the spouse.

e. Reasonable doubt when you kill someone.

And that’s not even counting if you’re gay. But on the other side, there’s really just one reason you can’t have your own clone: It’s immoral. Sure, it’s illegal too, but that’s mostly because it’s immoral, so it’s really just one reason.

I always wonder who gets to decide what’s immoral when it comes to brand new things that aren’t anything like old things that we all agree on. It’s exactly this sort of question that makes me unfit to hold any kind of elected office. I always lean toward the practical approach that doesn’t make a good sound bite. For example, my political platform would include “Let’s make a few human clones just to see if any of them become soulless zombies intent on eating our flesh before descending to the bowels of Hell”

Cheers.

ps: I have my own clone in the making.

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No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
A new Chapter 
Visualised by archtomato On Sunday, January 1, 2006 at 7:38 Hrs | Minimum B.S.
Ok ok,
 
First post of the year. Hmmm … what can i write about. Hmmm….

The new year is finally here. I hope that this year brings good tidings and less Tsunamis to all of us. I am not sure how many of you people are doing up your resolutions lists.

 
BUT I’M NOT GONNA. Just hoping to get started on my course at SIM. and i just want World Peace too. World peace can be achieved with having no wars. NO wars meaning NO guns. Guns are evil.
 
Why would anyone want a gun?
– Killing Someone
– Killing a lot of someones
– Killing the same someone over and over again
– Killing yourselves
– Killing defenseless animals
 
So ya, I want world peace this year. And maybe a 4d first prize. But then hey, money is not important right.
Cheers
ps: M16 is my personal favourite weapon. The first and Foremost.

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No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
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Fact File
 Archtomato

Archtomato . OxyMoron .
Laughing at Gilded Butterflies

Archtomato works in the IT security industry and has managed to convince his bosses for the past 10 years that his best work is yet to come.

Archtomato is a coffee nut, a photographer without focus, a traveler who can't read maps, a diver who floats all too easily and a champion of world peace.

He is an avid practitioner of the dark side of the force; admires Chuck Norris, Paris Hilton and collects vintage Batman comics. Just like the Horizon, Time Dilation, Flying pigs, Tax Reliefs and possibly, the "Opposition", he believes he is more of a concept than a corporeal being.

Archtomato believes that the true nature of man is decided in the battle between the conscious mind and the desires of the subconscious and that the evil of man's subconscious is often too strong to resist. The only way to win is to deny it battle.

He now lives in a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, smelly beavers, zits, herpes, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, conscription, yellow bananas, stupid people, nightmares, dog whisperers,Gamma Ray Bursts, Nuke Baddies and sings badly but regularly in the bathroom.


 Tomatoes were sacrificed in the making of this website, contents and for the continual existence of its owner.

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