Ok ok,

*Disclaimer: This Material is not intended for everyone. Parents should
probably avoid this article like small pox and children should grow up a
little
more. People who love Jennifer Love Hewit in “Ghost Whisperer” should
turn back just about now.
Parental Guidance is NOT advised.*

For a while now i realise that everywhere i turn i see babies in my block.
There’s a baby across my flat, there are babies where i take the lift, hell
there are babies in the bus i take to work, so much so that i have to give
up seats to them. Its not as though THEY are sitting, its the fat ass
parents who get to park their asses.

My friend just had a baby. And belive me, i didn’t have anything to do with it. There is so much pressure to see this baby. Every
time i talk to them, they say, “You have got to see the baby. When are you
coming over to see the baby? See the baby. See the baby. “Nobody ever wants
you to come over and see their grandfather. “You gotta see him. He’s so
cute. He’s 90kg. I love when they’re this age. He’s a thousand months. You
know the mid-eighties is such a good time for grandpeople. You’ve got to see
him. He went to the bathroom by himself today.”

What’s tough about seeing people when they have a new baby is that you have
to try and match their level of enthusiasm. They’re always so excited. “What
do you think of him? What do you think?”

Just once I would like to meet a couple that goes, “You know, we’re not that
happy with him frankly. I think we really made a big mistake. We should
have gotten an aquarium. You want him? We’ve really had enough.”

I personally don’t understand whats the big deal about babies anyway. They
cry at odd hours and like to take a crap and let you do the washing.
They are all
wet and squally most of the times, and the best thing is .. Its near to
impossible to have a intelligent conversation with them.

Cheers

ps: Babies of all ages like to stare at me.

Technorati tags: Archtomato, Babies

1. Anonymous - THE ONE says:

   August 27, 2006 at 3:13 pm

   i want to know 10 yrs from now how u reacted when u first had ur baby.

   ur nt a parent yet, i think. so obviously u dnt knw the enthusiasm abt new parents.

   lets wait n see how many kids ur gona have.

2. Archtomato says:

   August 28, 2006 at 3:06 am

   Please refrain from talking about the future. Its a fog and thus unreadable. Have a nice day

3. Zeena says:

   August 28, 2006 at 4:28 am

   I luv Babies. Theyr so cuteeee .. can’t believe you are so mean to them 🙁

4. Anonymous - THE ONE says:

   August 28, 2006 at 4:39 pm

   i agree with u zeena (:

5. Archtomato says:

   August 29, 2006 at 3:51 am

   Well … i did put up disclaimer didnt i ..

   Anyway if you going for the cute factor .. try a hamster ..

   1. It furry and can be cute
   2. It doesnt Cry
   3. It craps at designated area
   4. It doesnt need constant attention
   5. It lives for abt 3-4 yrs .. so once the cute factor i gone, you can get rid of it.

   Still not satisfied? Please read the disclaimer and press (ALT-F4) in your keyboard for further explantion.

   Cheers
   Ps: Hamsters dun start at me

6. Anonymous - THE ONE says:

   August 29, 2006 at 6:18 am

   you are still freaking mean!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7. Archtomato says:

   August 29, 2006 at 6:23 am

   O i’m Mean … ok go complain to a baby, see if it can help you.

   Cheers
   ps: All baby lovers should be burned for heresy

Fact File
Archtomato

Archtomato . OxyMoron .
Laughing at Gilded Butterflies

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