Ok ok,

Women need to like the job of the guy they’re dating. If they don’t like the job, they don’t like the guy. Men know this—which is why we make up the phony, bogus names for the jobs that we have. “Well right now, I’m the regional management supervisor … I’m in development … I’m an architect … I consult …”.

Men, on the other hand, if they are physically attracted to a woman, are not that concerned with her job. We’ll just go, “Really? Slaughterhouse? Is that where you work? That sounds interesting. So, what do you have, a big cleaver and you just lop their heads right off?

Cheers.
ps: I’m thinking what line i can use …

Ok ok,

The thing about Singapore that always kind of throws me are the haze alerts. They will sometimes actually recommend that people stay indoors during the haze alerts.

Now maybe I’m way off, but don’t you think, I mean wouldn’t you assume, that the air in the house pretty much comes from the air in the city where the house is?

What do they think, we live in a jar with a couple of holes punched in the top?

Cheers.
ps: The air here stinks.

Ok ok,

I love to go to sports events. Love, love, love sports. Anybody running around in an outfit with a stripe on it, I want to watch them do it.

Take boxing, the simplest, stupidest sport of all. It’s almost as if these two guys are just desperate to compete with each other, but they couldn’t think of a sport. So they said, “Why don’t we just pound each other for forty-five minutes? Maybe someone will come watch that.”

It’s strange, two guys in shorts competing for a belt. They should award them slacks or a shirt, hell maybe even a hoodie.

The real problem is that you have two guys fighting who have no prior argument. They should have the boxers come into the ring in little cars, drive around a little bit, eventually there’s an accident. Then the boxing proper can begin. All i’m saying is, if they got to box, give them a valid reason to.

Cheers.
ps: Float like a butterfly, Sting like a bee.

Ok ok,

I just had a vision. A vision of how the rest of my life is going to be. And you know what? It takes place in the same outfit, behind the same desk, at the same location that I am currently at.

I just thought I would be going somewhere. Not just metaphysically and spiritually though that too, but also you know literally.

I always thought I was destined for great things like becoming the emperor of the whole world or being able to eat 100 hot dog buns in a single seating or even fighting it out with Chuck Norris one on one.

But no, too much work. I figure I’ll just keep doing what I do.

Cheers.
ps: Just, Boomsz!

Ok ok,

I have come to realise, after much after thought, soul searching and reflection that women have powers far beyond those of mortal men.

A woman from Dell Sales side left a message on my phone the other day, with kind of a breathy voice. And no matter what a woman says, if it’s in that breathy voice, it sounds so appealing.

A stewardess could lean over, whisper in my ear, “Would you put on your seatbelt? We’re about to crash into a mountain.” And I would go, “Really? So what are you doing later by the ruptured fuselage? What do you say we meet for some peanuts over by the black box? I’ll bring the cushions.”

Cheers.
ps: Maybe that’s why planes crash so much

Ok ok,

Its a blindfold kick back type of a game
Called the Kansas City Shuffle
Whereas you look left and they fall right
Into the Kansas City Shuffle

Its a they-think you-think you don’t know
Type of Kansas City hustle
Where you take your time
Wait your turn
And hang them up, and out to dry

Cheers.