Happy Deepavali 
Visualised by archtomato On Monday, October 31, 2005 at 16:00 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Hi all,

Finally its deepavali, so that means we onli have 2 more days for ramadhan to come to an end. Wooohooo …


ps: Awaiting Syawwal.

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No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Deepa Oli 
Visualised by archtomato On Monday, October 31, 2005 at 10:29 Hrs | Minimum B.S.
ok ok,
i would like to wish everyone who saw this, seeing this and will see this, a Happy Deepavali. May you destroy you won naragasuarans and be a new being.
Tekka was a freaking jammed up place today. the damn 960 was a blackout today. I even saw two lame bastards both parked in a yellow line arguing abt some accident. Some way to celebrate a festivals.
ps: Damn i hate festivals. There are overated.
No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Visualised by archtomato On Sunday, October 30, 2005 at 14:36 Hrs | Minimum B.S.
The final part of the office dares series. Enjoy !!!

1 – At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself -.
2 – Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3 – For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
4 – Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".
5 – After every sentence, say ‘mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent – As in "the report’s on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one
6 – While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
7 – In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".
8 – At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce,"As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again."
9 – In a colleague’s diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".
10 – Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".
11 – Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it’s gone now".
12 – Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why,say, "I can’t talk about it".
13 – Posing as a maitre d’, call a colleague and tell him he’s won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14 – Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig,etc – during a very important conference call.
15 – Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16 – Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17 – Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.
18 – During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19 – Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.


No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
The Cookie Thief !!! 
Visualised by archtomato On Saturday, October 29, 2005 at 11:30 Hrs | Minimum B.S.
I was hanging around the net and found this … Kinda cool and very believable.
  A woman was waiting at the airport one night,
  With several long hours before her flight.
  She hunted for a book in the airport shop,
  Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.

  She was engrossed in her book, but happened to see,
  That the man beside her, as bold as could be,
  Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag between,
  Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene

  She read, munched cookies, and watched the clock,
  As the gustly "cookie thief" diminished her stock
  She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
  Thinking, "If I wasn’t so nice, I’d blacken his eye!"

  With each cookie she took, he took one too.
  When only one was left, she wondered what he’d do.
  with a smile on his face and a nervous laugh,
  He took the last cookie and broke it in half.

  He offered her half, and he ate the other.
  She snatched it from him and thought, "Oh brother,
  This guy has some nerve, and he’s also so rude,
  Why, he didn’t even show any gratitude!"

  She had never known when she had been so galled,
  And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
  She gathered her belongings and headed for the gate,
  Refusing to look at the "thieving ingrate".

  She boarded the plane and sank in her seat,
  Then sought her book, which was almost complete.
  As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise.
  There were her bag of cookies in front of her eyes!

  "If mine are here," she moaned with despair.
  "Then the others were his and he tried to share!"
  Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
  That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief!!!!


ps: Lucky for her, the man beside wasnt me. She would be dead when she took the plane.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Read me !!! 
Visualised by archtomato On Friday, October 28, 2005 at 12:31 Hrs | Minimum B.S.
Alrighty then,
First of all, lets start with a "Ennaatudaiya Iravaa potri". Now that thats outta the way, lets get down to business. Will be busy working again for atleast another month. After that i will be unemployed again and will design emile’s blog for him. Meanwhile, my current job requires me to travel alot. Past 2 days, i have travelled the entire Jurong area + 2nd Link. Fucking huge place. Anyway i go to all places in Singapore to setup systems for them and do software installation for them. Very simple and dummy proof. I sure even the EYE can do this job.
As you all know im vicious and evil. The company i work for is very popular in government sector, plus the project im work for is a nationwide project for IDA. So when i leave after a month, my resume is gonna look abit more impressive. Plus, the dumb shits put me as technical team lead. Me? … Very easy to skive also, just call in sick maybe once a week and the whole is yours. Pay sucks lah but im into this shitty thing for my resume and so called "experience".I am gonna fake that i celebrate Deepavali, then i am gonna fake im a mixed and i also celebrate Hari Raya. So next week im gonna be M.I.A for atleast 2 days. Take that you stupid Hr managers. 
Moving on the other matters, I was invited to lunch by Sleeping beauty Aka Ali teethman. Well beauty, im werking this week and the next. i will however call u up after that and get my free meal off u. We all know liverpool fc sucks but i did it for u anyway. I also heard that Jason from Recriut Express called Mophead. Well mop, u aint getting nowhere with this shit.
Yesterday, when i was coming back home when Aunty was bringing E-cai to the temple coz it was staying sick after the BBQ. Sad, tragic yes, but thats life. The medium claimed that it was sick due to some supernatural factors. Wheres Mel gill when u need him. So now we are waiting to see when E-cai gets better.
I am intending to change my blog to a technology blog on PC hardware and mobile technology. Its my hope to do up a good page and get money from sponsors for ads. Watch this space.
ps: I hate Jurong and everyone living there !!!
One Tomato Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Visualised by archtomato On Friday, October 28, 2005 at 7:09 Hrs | Minimum B.S.
Yes folks,
As i have promised, the below are a bunch of dares which will earn u 3 pts if u do in the your office. Play among couple of people to see who does it best.

1 – Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
2 – Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask,"Did you get all that, I don’t want to have to repeat it".
3 – Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice -.
4 – Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight -.
5 – Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

Ps: May cause discharge from service.
ps2:Watch this space for 5 point jokes.
No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Visualised by archtomato On Thursday, October 27, 2005 at 12:46 Hrs | Minimum B.S.
ok ok,
Want to try something new and exciting to do? Why not initiate an office dare system – however to do it properly only you are allowed to know the dare. Sound confusing? Well read on……….

1 – Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2 – Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other ‘non-player’ must be in the toilet at the time -.
3 – Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.
4 – Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,"Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye."
5 – To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your head
6 – When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily,"Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".
7 – Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
8 – Walk sideways to the photocopier.
9 – While riding an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open

ps: Watch this space for 3 point dares
No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Google Search 4 failure 
Visualised by archtomato On Thursday, October 27, 2005 at 1:27 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

ok ok,
Something really interesting to share with you. Try the following steps and see what happens…! You will be surprised to see the result.


1. Go to www.google.com
2. Type "failure" (without double quotes) in the search text box.
3. Press "I’m Feeling Lucky" button just next to "Google Search" button.
4. See what happens. Find it out yourself. (Do not worry, its not going to harm your computer.)
5. Share it with your friends and relatives before GOOGLE fixes this bug.
6. Enjoy… Cheers
ps: The best google search has to offer !!!

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
The 10 dumbest things Bush said in 2004 
Visualised by archtomato On Wednesday, October 26, 2005 at 11:21 Hrs | Minimum B.S.
Hi all,
This is a damn funny article i found .. and the scary part is .. its true …
#10: "I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." -Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004

#9: "Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling." -Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004

#8: "Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat." -Washington, D.C., Sept. 17, 2004

#7: "I want to thank the astronauts who are with us, the courageous spacial entrepreneurs who set such a wonderful example for the young of our country." -Washington, D.C. Jan. 14, 2004

#6: "We will make sure our troops have all that is necessary to complete their missions. That’s why I went to the Congress last September and proposed fundamental – supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts and ammunition and fuel." -Erie, Pa., Sept. 4, 2004

#5: "After standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain, we will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week – we will have an all-volunteer army!" -Daytona Beach, Fla., Oct. 16, 2004

#4: "Tribal sovereignty means that; it’s sovereign. I mean, you’re a – you’ve been given sovereignty, and you’re viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities." -Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004

#3: "I hear there’s rumors on the Internets that we’re going to have a draft." -second presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

#2: "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country." -Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

#1: "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
New dictionary entries for 2005 
Visualised by archtomato On Wednesday, October 26, 2005 at 3:03 Hrs | Minimum B.S.
Hi all,
some strong words u all shoudl know about …
TESTICULATING – Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING – Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER – A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS – The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY – The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM – An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING – When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see that’s going on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)

MOUSE POTATO – The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs – Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

STRESS PUPPY – A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

XEROX SUBSIDY – Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE – The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE – The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" needless paperwork and processes.

404 – Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND – That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you’ve just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you’ve hit ‘reply all’)

WOOFies – Well Off Older Folk.

CROP DUSTING – Surreptitiously farting while passing through a CUBE FARM, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.
ps: cube farms are disgusting
No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
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Fact File

Archtomato . OxyMoron .
Laughing at Gilded Butterflies

Archtomato works in the IT security industry and has managed to convince his bosses for the past 10 years that his best work is yet to come.

Archtomato is a coffee nut, a photographer without focus, a traveler who can't read maps, a diver who floats all too easily and a champion of world peace.

He is an avid practitioner of the dark side of the force; admires Chuck Norris, Paris Hilton and collects vintage Batman comics. Just like the Horizon, Time Dilation, Flying pigs, Tax Reliefs and possibly, the "Opposition", he believes he is more of a concept than a corporeal being.

Archtomato believes that the true nature of man is decided in the battle between the conscious mind and the desires of the subconscious and that the evil of man's subconscious is often too strong to resist. The only way to win is to deny it battle.

He now lives in a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, smelly beavers, zits, herpes, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, conscription, yellow bananas, stupid people, nightmares, dog whisperers,Gamma Ray Bursts, Nuke Baddies and sings badly but regularly in the bathroom.

 Tomatoes were sacrificed in the making of this website, contents and for the continual existence of its owner.

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