Ok ok,

The story of the bill. It just doesn’t make sense.

Went out to dinner the other night, and the bill came at the end of the meal as it always does. I am not one for the bill at the end of the meal system. Because money’s a very different thing before and after you eat. Before you eat, money has very little value.

When you’re hungry, you sit down in a restaurant, you’re like captain Jean-Luc Picard; you’re like the ruler of an empire like Darth Plagueis. You don’t care about cost. You want maximum food in minimum time. “More drinks, appetizers, quickly, quickly. Fried things in the shape of a stick or a ball. Pina Coladas and Satays. It will be the greatest meal of our lives. Monkey Brain in boiling Chicken Soup? Bring it on.”

Then, after the meal, once you’re full, you can’t remember ever being hungry ever in your life. You see people walking in the restaurant, you can’t believe it. “Why are these people coming in here now? I’m so full. How could they eat?” You’ve got the pants undone, napkins destroyed, cigarette butt in the mashed potatoes. You never want to see food again as long as you live. That’s when the bill comes. The damn bill.

This is why people are always mystified by the bill. “What is this? How could this be?” They start passing it around the table. “Does this look right to you? We’re not hungry now, why are we buying all this food? Did we really eat all this? I thought I just had a glass of water.”

Sometimes you go to a nice restaurant; they put the bill in the little book. What is this, the story of the bill? “Once upon a time somebody ordered a salad.” There’s a little gold tassel hanging down. Am I graduating from the restaurant? Does the little book make me more smarter? Should I put this on my facebook pics or hang it at my cubicle?

The story of the bill. It just doesn’t make sense.

Cheers.
ps: I hate paying, so i usually leave for the toilet break during bill time.