Www.Archtomato.Com | Minimum B.S. Guranteed

Inception by Brain
Visualised by archtomato On Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 3:00 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

I hate my brain. Really. I was trying to think of a way to replace it, but my brain outsmarted me. I realized, as is probably obvious to all of you, that my brain would never let me think of how to replace it. At least my brain wouldn’t, my brain is smarter than me.

See, my brain controls what I dream about. Dreams are our escape from reality. The possibilities of our dreams are endless. Renowned physicist Walter Bishop once famously remarked that dreams have the ability to help us transcend the space time fabric to another plane of existence. Of course i have no idea what he means but maybe you do. There are absolutely no restrictions. At least that’s what they say dreams are. Don’t ask me who “they” are. But i believe dreams are just pure sophistry. 125% unadulterated BS.

Last night, I had a dream. Not the kind that Steve Jobs or Anna Hazare would have had, but rather a vague unclear and enigmatic dream. I dreamt that i was in my living room watching the tv that was switched off, while a 200kg gorilla was sitting opposite me making lewd gestures at me. And as i have mentioned countless times, i believe the gorilla meant to hurt me real bad.

I mean seriously, is this what my brain can come up with? I could think of 7 things right now that would be more impressive:

1. Floating within the moment that determines failure and success neither here nor there.
2. Laughing loudly at Darth Vader a minute before he put on his mask.
3. Eating a lot of hot dogs really fast.
4. Play with StikFas.
5. Getting beaten the crap out of by Samuel L Jackson;
5a. While at the same time peeling a banana to find there is chocolate inside.
6. Going for a ride on BattleStar Galactica.
7. Taking part in a coup to supplant a communist or senile dictator acting democratic (You know who you are).
8. Compiling a source code that infinitely loops within itself.
9. Getting my voice-mail recorded my Mr. James Earl Jones.
10. (And my all time favourite) Outrunning the sonic boom of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Tell me these are great ideas. I should be a brain. Would you want me as your brain? OK that’s it i’m going to bed now.

Cheers.
ps: Purely for humour, nothing profound.

Main | Previous Article « A Most Preposterous Proposition | Next Article » Dance With the Devil

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 6th, 2011 at 3:00 am and is filed under Ageless. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Leave a Reply

Fact File
Archtomato

Archtomato . ~~Oxy~~Moron .
Laughing at Gilded Butterflies

Archtomato works in the IT security industry and has managed to convince his bosses for the past 10 years that his best work is yet to come.

Archtomato is a coffee nut, a photographer without focus, a traveler who can't read maps, a diver who floats all too easily and a champion of world peace.

He is an avid practitioner of the dark side of the force; admires Chuck Norris, Paris Hilton and collects vintage Batman comics. Just like the Horizon, Time Dilation, Flying pigs, Tax Reliefs and possibly, the "Opposition", he believes he is more of a concept than a corporeal being.

Archtomato believes that the true nature of man is decided in the battle between the conscious mind and the desires of the subconscious and that the evil of man's subconscious is often too strong to resist. The only way to win is to deny it battle.

He now lives in a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, smelly beavers, zits, herpes, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, conscription, yellow bananas, stupid people, nightmares, dog whisperers,Gamma Ray Bursts, Nuke Baddies and sings badly but regularly in the bathroom.

Tomatoes were sacrificed in the making of this website, contents and for the continual existence of its owner.

Rss 2.0 | Atom | Main

Still going strong in an inane work full of Ozone Depletion, Data Breaches, Chuck Norris, Tough Cookies, Mangy Dogs, Zits, Scurvy, Ninjas, Racism, Pollution, Herpes, Festivus , Broccoli, Mimes, Ghost Whisperer, Smelly Beavers, Petya, Donald Trump, Adolescence, Gravity, Pin Worms, Maths, Black Holes, Jedis, Cuban Cigars, Quick Sand, Methamphetamie, Ransomware and Nuke Baddies. Archtomato.com® reserves the full rights to all materials found on this domain. All works are commisioned and owned by Archtomato.com®, unless explicitly stated and are protected by international copyright laws. Archtomato.com® shall not be held liable should these materials be distributed without the explicit written permission of Archtomato.com®. Not Suitable for Dummies, Feminists, Animal Rights Activists, Scientologists and Dead People. Powered by 125% Freshly Locally Squeezed Tomato Juice.