Ok ok,

I hate my brain. Really. I was trying to think of a way to replace it, but my brain outsmarted me. I realized, as is probably obvious to all of you, that my brain would never let me think of how to replace it. At least my brain wouldn’t, my brain is smarter than me.

See, my brain controls what I dream about. Dreams are our escape from reality. The possibilities of our dreams are endless. Renowned physicist Walter Bishop once famously remarked that dreams have the ability to help us transcend the space time fabric to another plane of existence. Of course i have no idea what he means but maybe you do. There are absolutely no restrictions. At least that’s what they say dreams are. Don’t ask me who “they” are. But i believe dreams are just pure sophistry. 125% unadulterated BS.

Last night, I had a dream. Not the kind that Steve Jobs or Anna Hazare would have had, but rather a vague unclear and enigmatic dream. I dreamt that i was in my living room watching the tv that was switched off, while a 200kg gorilla was sitting opposite me making lewd gestures at me. And as i have mentioned countless times, i believe the gorilla meant to hurt me real bad.

I mean seriously, is this what my brain can come up with? I could think of 7 things right now that would be more impressive:

1. Floating within the moment that determines failure and success neither here nor there.
2. Laughing loudly at Darth Vader a minute before he put on his mask.
3. Eating a lot of hot dogs really fast.
4. Play with StikFas.
5. Getting beaten the crap out of by Samuel L Jackson;
5a. While at the same time peeling a banana to find there is chocolate inside.
6. Going for a ride on BattleStar Galactica.
7. Taking part in a coup to supplant a communist or senile dictator acting democratic (You know who you are).
8. Compiling a source code that infinitely loops within itself.
9. Getting my voice-mail recorded my Mr. James Earl Jones.
10. (And my all time favourite) Outrunning the sonic boom of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Tell me these are great ideas. I should be a brain. Would you want me as your brain? OK that’s it i’m going to bed now.

Cheers.
ps: Purely for humour, nothing profound.