Visualised by archtomato On Friday, December 30, 2011 at 0:00 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

In a few hours, we’ll all be done with 2011. If there’s anything memorable about it, it will be remembered as the year of really disappointing turnout in the political arena and really shoddy quality of service by those in charge. Every single day, you woke up wondering what the hell was going to be next.

While people who live in other geographically challenged locations are contemplating on what flood is going to hit next and spoil the crops, I am wondering which basement car park is going to flood next. If there was nothing in the papers, I usually spend ten minutes mouthing prayers to God.

Today I was browsing through the ST and I can’t help but wonder if ST was actually written and published in an alternate dimension where nothing bad ever happens to Singapore. The Singapore that is written about in the pages of the ST sure as hell don’t seem like the Singapore that I am living in. Their year in review basically contains glowing articles about the wonderful economy, increasing capita and how every Singaporean is lying on a bed filled with money.

Meanwhile in the real world, everyone and their grandmother is struggling to deal with the soaring inflation, decreasing quality of service. Happens when you happen to be living in one of Asia’s most expensive cities. Just about the only people who have something to smile about are the Jedi masters who are employing their cheap mind tricks on us.

The poor transportation and “ponding” issues remain unanswered as they resemble a 400Kg gay gorilla sitting in your living room making lewd gestures at you that no one dares to talk about. It’s there, but the Jedi circle is seemingly oblivious to it. I shudder to think what’s coming in 2012. Remember folks, it is still just year 1 of 5.

I pity those who actually voted in favour of the Jedi counsel. I guess you must be feeling pretty foolish by now. Not only do you have the emotional maturity of goldfish, but you have just damned yourself and your grandmother to eternal damnation. The racial misquote might be forgiven as an oversight but the capability of someone who can make such a mistake must be seriously doubted.

It’s a given of course, prices were all going to jump after the swearing in of the Jedi Council, but not even the smartest and most clairvoyant of us expected this. The dark side of the force seems sweeter for some reason. Whatever official figures they give us, double it and that’s the real figure you get for inflation. Can’t wait to see what 2012 brings to the forsaken red dot.

Some Highlights:
– Casinos causing more suicides and members of law enforcement accepting bribes.
– Increased occurrences of ponding at many areas.
– Shortages for car parks at older estates might cause price hike (Universal Solution to all problems)
– Lack of affordable housing for the every day man.
– Trains going bonkers
– COE pricing that cost more than the Hubble Space telescope
– More Pinoy television serials
– The Jedi council back in power. I sense a great distortion in the force.
– More FTrash

ps: Seriously, it is just going to get worse.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Mom and Big Brother always Want the best 
Visualised by archtomato On Thursday, December 29, 2011 at 21:09 Hrs | Minimum B.S.




No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Heres to 2012 
Visualised by archtomato On Tuesday, December 27, 2011 at 20:12 Hrs | Minimum B.S.


Heres to 2010


No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Happy Festivus 2011 
Visualised by archtomato On Friday, December 23, 2011 at 0:00 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Happy Festivus Everyone. No Posts today.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless, Announcements 
Visualised by archtomato On Thursday, December 22, 2011 at 20:44 Hrs | Minimum B.S.





No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
American Dream 
Visualised by archtomato On Tuesday, December 20, 2011 at 16:38 Hrs | Minimum B.S.



No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Comical Fashion 
Visualised by archtomato On Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 0:46 Hrs | Minimum B.S.


Babes from Comics


No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Black Friday must be a Female Holiday 
Visualised by archtomato On Thursday, December 15, 2011 at 22:45 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

Since its the time of festivities and i was having a discussion about shopping, lets talk about shopping habits.

Buying clothes is always tricky. But when there’s loud music playing, it really throws your judgment. You look at stuff like, “Hey, if there was a cool party and I was a cool guy, this might be a cool shirt.” You get it home, there’s no music, there’s no party, and you’re not a cool guy. You’re the same chump, just 50 bucks lighter.

Women approach clothes from a different angle altogether. The other day I was out shopping for clothes with a friend and i was watching women in a department store looking at clothes, and I noticed women don’t try on the clothes, they get behind the clothes. They take a dress off the rack and they hold it up against themselves. They can tell something from this. They stick one leg way out and kind of lean back. I guess they need to know, “If someday I’m one-legged at a forty-five-degree angle, what am I going to wear?”

You never see a man do that. You never see a guy take a suit off the rack, put his head behind the collar, and go, “What do you think about this suit? I think I’ll get it. Put some shoes by the bottom of the pants, I want to make sure. Now what if I’m walking? Move the shoes, move the shoes, move the shoes.”

ps: With online shopping, you get to avoid all these idiosyncrasies.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Reading Aloud 
Visualised by archtomato On Wednesday, December 14, 2011 at 0:00 Hrs | Minimum B.S.


Strangely and deeply humbling: Iqra bi-ismi rabbika allathee khalaq. Khalaqa al-insana min Aalaq.


No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Tributes 
And thats how the Cookie Crumbles 
Visualised by archtomato On Friday, December 9, 2011 at 4:44 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

But I have to say I enjoy adulthood. I enjoy the fact that now, if I want a cookie, I have a cookie. You know the chocolaty kind with cream in between. Hell i will have three cookies or four cookies or eleven cookies if I want. Whats the big deal with the cookies?  Well when i was younger i used to get the, “Not before dinner.” “Not too many.” “You’ve had enough.” “Not now.” Well mommy, guess what, now I’m a grown-up, give me the cookies!

Many times I will intentionally ruin my entire appetite. Beyond recognition. Then I tell my mother just to rub it in. “Yo Mom? I just ruined my entire appetite. . . . Cookies.”  So what if I ruin it? See, as adults we understand, even if you ruin an appetite, there’s another appetite coming right behind it. I see no danger in running out of appetites. And speaking of appetites, i’m feeling hungry again. Cookie anyone?

ps: More adults spoke to their moms while eating cookies after reading this article

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
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Fact File

Archtomato . OxyMoron .
Laughing at Gilded Butterflies

Archtomato works in the IT security industry and has managed to convince his bosses for the past 10 years that his best work is yet to come.

Archtomato is a coffee nut, a photographer without focus, a traveler who can't read maps, a diver who floats all too easily and a champion of world peace.

He is an avid practitioner of the dark side of the force; admires Chuck Norris, Paris Hilton and collects vintage Batman comics. Just like the Horizon, Time Dilation, Flying pigs, Tax Reliefs and possibly, the "Opposition", he believes he is more of a concept than a corporeal being.

Archtomato believes that the true nature of man is decided in the battle between the conscious mind and the desires of the subconscious and that the evil of man's subconscious is often too strong to resist. The only way to win is to deny it battle.

He now lives in a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, smelly beavers, zits, herpes, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, conscription, yellow bananas, stupid people, nightmares, dog whisperers,Gamma Ray Bursts, Nuke Baddies and sings badly but regularly in the bathroom.

 Tomatoes were sacrificed in the making of this website, contents and for the continual existence of its owner.

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