Visualised by archtomato On Thursday, December 30, 2010 at 0:00 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

In a day or so, we’ll all be done with 2010. If there’s anything memorable about it, it will be remembered as the year of inane price increases. Every single day, you woke up wondering what the hell was going to be next.

While people who live in other geographically challenged locations are contemplating on what storm or hurricane is going to hit next, I am wondering what price hike is going to hit next. If there was nothing in the papers, I usually spend ten minutes mouthing prayers to God.

Today I was browsing through the ST and I can’t help but wonder if ST was actually written and published in an alternate dimension where nothing bad ever happens to Singapore. The Singapore that is written about in the pages of the ST sure as hell don’t seem like the Singapore that I am living in. Their year in review basically contains glowing articles about the wonderful economy and how every Singaporean is lying on a bed filled with money.

Meanwhile in the real world, everyone and their grandmother is struggling to deal with the soaring inflation. Just about the only people who have something to smile about are the Jedi masters who are employing their cheap mind tricks on us.

The bread and butter issues remains unanswered as the crazy inflation resembles a 400Kg gay gorilla sitting in your living room making lewd gestures at you that no one dares to talk about. It’s there, but the Jedi circle is seemingly oblivious to it. I shudder to think what our low income families have to deal with everyday.

I pity those who actually voted in favour of the Jedi counsel. I guess you must be feeling pretty foolish by now. It’s a given of course, prices were all going to jump after the swearing in of the Jedi Council, but not even the smartest and most clairvoyant of us expected this. The dark side of the force seems sweeter for some reason. Whatever official figures they give us, double it and that’s the real figure you get for inflation. Can’t wait to see what 2011 brings to the forsaken red dot.

Some Highlights:
– Casinos are up and killing.
– Youth Olympics
– Slashings at Bukit Panjang
– We got Mas Selamat back (Selamat Datang)
– More ERP gantries
– COE pricing that cost more than the Hubble Space telescope
– MRT jingles
– Pinoy television serials
– Hawkers selling simplistic dishes for over 10 bucks

ps: Is it my turn to move yet?

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Baby Cannibal 
Visualised by archtomato On Sunday, December 26, 2010 at 23:21 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Is a baby cannibal a cannibal who eats babies, or a new born cannibal?

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
A holiday celebrated by those frustrated with the commercialism and pressure of other December holidays. 
Visualised by archtomato On Thursday, December 23, 2010 at 0:00 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Happy Festivus everyone. No posts today.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
When i was Younger 
Visualised by archtomato On Tuesday, December 21, 2010 at 3:04 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

When i was younger, i used to think that when i grew up i would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability, to be alive is to be vulnerable.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Manlier than Chuck Norris on a T-Rex 
Visualised by archtomato On Wednesday, December 15, 2010 at 18:38 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

There are certain things you probably expect to do in the course of your life: go to school, get married (or get unmarried), wonder how M. Night Shymalan still gets work – that kind of things.

And then there are moments that take you completely by surprise. Moments that feel utterly surreal, as though your alarm clock is going to start wailing for you to wake up at any second-even as they are happening. I guess what i am trying to say is-Duke Nukem Forever is coming and its going to be Legend-“Wait for it”-Dary.

Why is it such a Big Deal? With 13 years of expectation, baggage, and broken promises scattered in Duke Nukem Forever’s wake, it would have to be unquestionably the greatest game of all time for people to even consider that it might have been worth the wait.

ps: Finally, the Duke’s back and he’s back looking more manlier than Chuck Norris on the back of a T-Rex.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
About Choices 
Visualised by archtomato On Saturday, December 11, 2010 at 21:51 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

There are no choices. Nothing but a straight line. The illusion comes afterwards, when you ask ‘Why me?’ and ‘What if?’. When you look back and see the branches, like a pruned bonsai tree, or forked lightning.

If you had done something differently, it wouldn’t be you, it would be someone else looking back, asking a different set of questions.

ps: What else can i do differently?

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
لَكُمْ دِينُكُمْ وَلِيَ دِينِ 
Visualised by archtomato On Friday, December 3, 2010 at 0:14 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Lakum dinukum wa-liya dini.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Sinthanai Sirpi 
Visualised by archtomato On Monday, November 29, 2010 at 1:16 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Avar sonnar, ivar sonnar endru nambi arivu elenthu thadumaara vendaam.
Evar sonna sol anaalum, adhanai un pagutharivaal ini paarpaai.
Appadi paarthathaal thaan silai vadikkum sirpi, sinthanai sirpi yaaga maara mudinthathu.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Short Cuts 
Visualised by archtomato On Thursday, November 11, 2010 at 21:52 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

Of course we all try and save time. Cutting corners, little short cuts. But no matter how much time you save, at the end of your life, there’s no extra time saved up. You’ll be going, “What do you mean there’s no time? I had a microwave oven, velcro shoes, a clip-on tie. Where is that time?”

But there isn’t any. Because when you waste time in life, they subtract it. Like if you saw all the Rocky movies or those medical examinations in NUS, they deduct the mistakes and wastage. So you’ve got to be careful. You can take the Concorde to Europe to save time, but if they show soul plane DVD on the plane, you’re right back where you started from.

ps: Need more time …

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Visualised by archtomato On Wednesday, October 20, 2010 at 0:48 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

20102010 – No Posts Today

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
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Fact File

Archtomato . OxyMoron .
Laughing at Gilded Butterflies

Archtomato works in the IT security industry and has managed to convince his bosses for the past 10 years that his best work is yet to come.

Archtomato is a coffee nut, a photographer without focus, a traveler who can't read maps, a diver who floats all too easily and a champion of world peace.

He is an avid practitioner of the dark side of the force; admires Chuck Norris, Paris Hilton and collects vintage Batman comics. Just like the Horizon, Time Dilation, Flying pigs, Tax Reliefs and possibly, the "Opposition", he believes he is more of a concept than a corporeal being.

Archtomato believes that the true nature of man is decided in the battle between the conscious mind and the desires of the subconscious and that the evil of man's subconscious is often too strong to resist. The only way to win is to deny it battle.

He now lives in a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, smelly beavers, zits, herpes, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, conscription, yellow bananas, stupid people, nightmares, dog whisperers,Gamma Ray Bursts, Nuke Baddies and sings badly but regularly in the bathroom.

 Tomatoes were sacrificed in the making of this website, contents and for the continual existence of its owner.

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