Ok ok,

Las Vegas … Still the ultimate entertainment town. Period.

Somebody explains everything to you there. You come in the hotel, the guy who carries your bags takes you upstairs, explains to you how to use the TV and remote control.

You turn on the TV, there’s a guy on there explains to you how to go downstairs and play the games. You play the games, you go out on the sidewalk and there’s a girl out there to explain to you how to go upstairs and use the room again.

And you keep going until you run out of girls or games or money, and then you go home.

Las Vegas … Still the ultimate entertainment town. Period.

Cheers.
ps: I will hit Vegas when 30 hits me.
ps2: In Support, you can mail your contribution cheques to “Save the Tomato Foundation”.
ps3: All cheques must be crossed.

Ok ok,

I am one of those people who like to pay all my bills online. And as a result I tend to chalk up a monthly credit card debt, as you might expect from a bank. Paying the credit card bill is one of the most torturous tasks around. But it’s not entirely accidental. Banks inconvenience their customers for a reason.

For example, I would like the option of automatically debiting my checking account every month to pay off my credit card balance just before it is due. The system could easily send me a courtesy e-mail warning me the transfer was about to happen, in case I changed my mind. And if I didn’t have enough money in my checking account, it could warn me by e-mail and abort the transfer. This system would save me time and avoid late fees on my credit card.

You won’t be seeing that feature anytime soon. Banks and credit card companies make a lot of money from late fees. They have a naked interest in keeping their service as inconvenient as possible. My bank doesn’t even offer a check box option for paying the entire balance on my credit card. Instead I need to write down the balance from one screen, or try to memorize it, until the screen appears where I can enter that figure. In other words, they even make money from my typos. It’s totally intentional. Bastards. That trap has worked on me several times.

Cheers.
ps: You heard me right. I did say bastards.

Ok ok,

You know that guy u see going into the 7-11 store while you are on your way to school. Sort of shifty looking fellow who buys a reader’s digest, a can of Kickapoo and a pack of butterfly ten in the morning? The kind of guy you wait to come out before u go in?

Well …. That guy is me and my name is Archtomato.

And if u took the time to really know me. Find out what kind of person I really am instead of stereotyping me? Well….. You would be wasting your time. I am exactly who u think I am. I will pretty much mess with anyone. Anyone except maybe Chuck Norris.

I am Archtomato, leader of men, with a giant bulls-eye on my ass.

Cheers.
ps: Who am i

Ok ok,

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Cheers.
ps: I cannot get enough of Chuck Jokes …

Ok ok,

I don’t think anything competes with a magic act for humiliating entertainment value. What is the point of the magician? He comes on, he fools you, you feel stupid, show’s over. You never know what’s actually happened. It’s never explained.

And that’s kind of the attitude the magician seems to have as he’s performing. It’s like, “Here’s a coin. Now it’s gone. You’re a jerk.” Sometimes they ask you to blow on it. There’s something mature adults like to do, blow on a deck of cards.

I also love that little pretend look of surprise they do when the trick works. Like, “Oh, I didn’t know that was going to happen myself. I even amaze me.”

Cheers.
ps: Magic my a$$.

Ok ok,

When I was a kid, my favorite ride was the bumper cars. What a wonderful fantasy of the driving experience as it could be. All confrontation, no destination. That’s what the bumper cars are. Driving as an act of pure hostility. But there was always one kid on the bumper cars that couldn’t do it. As soon as the ride got started, he’d be stuck in a pack of empty cars, usually ending up with the attendant hanging off that big pole, helping him steer.

I always preferred a machine ride to anything live, like a pony ride at the zoo. There’s always a creepy guy that runs it. He’s depressed, the pony’s depressed. The whole thing’s a big downer.

Cheers.
ps: Never likes ponies.

Ok ok,

Hunger will make people do amazing things. I mean, the proof of that is cannibalism. What do they say? You know, they’re eating . . . “This is good. Who is this? I like this person.”

Cheers.
ps: I’ve never been a cannibal.

Ok ok,

Of course we all try and save time. Cutting corners, little short cuts. But no matter how much time you save, at the end of your life, there’s no extra time saved up. You’ll be going, “What do you mean there’s no time? I had a microwave oven, velcro shoes, a clip-on tie. Where is that time?”

But there isn’t any. Because when you waste time in life, they subtract it. Like if you saw all the Rocky movies or those medical examinations in NUS, they deduct the mistakes and wastages. So you’ve got to be careful. You can take the Concorde to Europe, but if they show soul plane on the plane, you’re right back where you started from.

To me, if life boils down to one significant thing, it’s movement. To live is to keep moving. Unfortunately, this means that for the rest of our lives we’re going to be looking for boxes. When you’re moving, your whole world is boxes. That’s all you think about. “Boxes, where are there boxes?” You just wander down the street going in and out of shops, “Are there boxes here? Have you seen any boxes?” It’s all you think about.

You can’t even talk to people, you can’t concentrate. “Will you shut up? I’m looking for boxes!” After a while, you become like a bloodhound on the scent. To me, if life boils down to one significant thing, it’s movement. To live is to keep moving.

Cheers.
ps: To live is to keep moving.