Time vs Distance 
Visualised by archtomato On Thursday, October 15, 2009 at 0:00 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

You can measure distance by time.
“How far away is that place?”
“About 20 minutes.” But it doesn’t work the other way.
“When do you get off work?”
“Around 3 Km.”

ps: I’m 1km away from hitting the bed.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
3 little things 
Visualised by archtomato On Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 22:49 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

As some of my close friends know, my personal 3 little goals are to win a Nobel Prize, get James Earl Jones to record me a voice mail, and to win Chuck Norris on a one on one. I don’t care in which order. I just need to get them done.

For the Nobel, i don’t really have a particular field to get the award in. I don’t care which one. I’m just in it for the money. Last night I came up with an idea that should get it done. This idea targets The Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine. I don’t have any relevant education in those fields, and I haven’t done any research, so I know I need to come up with something big to get the judges past their bias for competence. My idea needs to cure a whole lot of problems. Anything less would be begging for the award committee to snub me once again.

Meeting James Earl Jones and beating Chuck Norris might be a problem though. James might just pull a force choke on me with just his vocals and Chuck might just beat me senseless with a single round-house kick.

So for now, I’ll be contented with the Nobel, although it wouldn’t be much.

ps: Satan once said that between Chuck Norris and himself, he would pick Chuck Norris.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Food Fighting 
Visualised by archtomato On Thursday, September 24, 2009 at 18:31 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Food Fight

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Neighbourhood Librari 
Visualised by archtomato On Friday, September 18, 2009 at 1:48 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Going through life without knowing its meaning;
is like walking through a library without touching the books.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Time Management 
Visualised by archtomato On Wednesday, September 16, 2009 at 0:00 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

Let’s say you have a typical life and try to live it in the healthiest way. You might allocate your 24-hour weekday this way:

Sleep: 8 hours
Exercise: 1 hour
Work: 8 hours
Eating: 2 hours (Real Slowly)
Hygiene: 1 hour
Travel: 1 hour

That leaves you three hours for family time, shopping, chores, household repair, WOW, Left4Dead and so on. If you have a dentist appointment, or your talkative relative calls, or Vasantham Star has a two-hour special, you’re tapped out. It’s a challenge to live a happy life if you aren’t giving enough attention to all of those categories, yet doing so is nearly impossible.

One time management strategy is to be independently wealthy, freeing up eight hours a day. But that option isn’t available to many. And apparently it isn’t fulfilling because most rich people continue to work full schedules.

Another strategy is to ignore the fact that you are slowly killing yourself by not sleeping and exercising enough. That frees up several hours a day. The only downside is that you get fat and die.

A third path is to work less than you could, live economically, enjoy each day as it comes, and try not to think about living on cat food when you retire.

Which strategy have you picked?

ps: I’m working on a fourth strategy.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Tricked into Watching 
Visualised by archtomato On Sunday, September 13, 2009 at 15:22 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

Recently I got tricked into seeing a movie that won the Oscar for Best Picture. It left me feeling confused, anxious, and pissed off. By the closing credits I hated everyone involved with it. I actually paid good money for that experience.

As a rule, the quality of a movie is inversely correlated with how long it takes to explain the entire plot. That’s why I stay away from movies with titles like Volcano, Inferno, Titanic, and Snakes on a Plane and Sunshine Cleaning. I feel I have a sense of where those plots are heading.

The award-winning film I just watched could be described as “A bad guy chases another bad guy and kills him. And ooo .. there was a girl somewhere in there.” There were other elements of the movie, but I’m pretty sure they were irrelevant. Admittedly, there was great artistry in this movie, on many levels. But I don’t think it is fair that no one warned me how it would make me feel. That’s why I think movie reviews should have more elements.

For example, I want to know if a movie has a happy ending, even at the risk of ruining the surprise. I like to know the star power. Recently I watched Transformers 2. Optimus Prime has star power. Even some unknowns have star power (See Star Trek). Next, I need to know is if this movie is going to be a mumbler. How many times do you have to turn to the person next to you and ask “What did he say?” And how long is this movie? Can my bladder make it all the way or is this a two-pisser? Artistry is important too. How’s the writing, acting, directing, and so forth?

I don’t condone violence. I can watch hundreds of zombies or henchman get mowed down and still enjoy my popcorn. What I object to is any scene where someone enjoys torturing someone else. A good story is important. Mostly the story needs to be original and make sense. I don’t care about much else. I have a hard time with any movie with a plot so complicated I can’t understand it. I have a right to know ahead of time whether I will be able to decipher the story I am paying to see. Humor always gets my vote.

That’s all I want to know. Don’t tell me a movie is some particular actor’s best work yet, or the director’s magnum opus. That gives me nothing (See Wicker Man and Brokeback Mountain).

ps: Inglourious bastards is gonna kick a$$.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Tomorrow Never Comes 
Visualised by archtomato On Sunday, September 6, 2009 at 16:15 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

We conquer paradise just to burn it to the ground.
And we build a future to honour pasts we left behind.
We bring destruction, we bring a war without an end.
And then we hope that tomorrow never comes, that it never comes.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Not a Black Russian 
Visualised by archtomato On Tuesday, September 1, 2009 at 23:39 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

When i was young, i used to watch Bill Cosby in the Cosby Show. He was my favorite comedian and the first black actor to star in a series. Not only that but he was the first adult on TV to wear sneakers on a regular basis. I know that affected me, but I’m not sure in what way.

ps: Hail Cosby

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
i-Phone 3G A$$ 
Visualised by archtomato On Sunday, August 30, 2009 at 0:06 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

“My new I-Phone 3Gs.”

The Lock Screen

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Announcements 
Ramadan Day 1 
Visualised by archtomato On Friday, August 21, 2009 at 19:19 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

“Allah is with those who restrain themselves.”
[Quran 16: 128]
Have a peaceful Ramadan.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Announcements 
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Fact File

Archtomato . OxyMoron .
Laughing at Gilded Butterflies

Archtomato works in the IT security industry and has managed to convince his bosses for the past 10 years that his best work is yet to come.

Archtomato is a coffee nut, a photographer without focus, a traveler who can't read maps, a diver who floats all too easily and a champion of world peace.

He is an avid practitioner of the dark side of the force; admires Chuck Norris, Paris Hilton and collects vintage Batman comics. Just like the Horizon, Time Dilation, Flying pigs, Tax Reliefs and possibly, the "Opposition", he believes he is more of a concept than a corporeal being.

Archtomato believes that the true nature of man is decided in the battle between the conscious mind and the desires of the subconscious and that the evil of man's subconscious is often too strong to resist. The only way to win is to deny it battle.

He now lives in a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, smelly beavers, zits, herpes, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, conscription, yellow bananas, stupid people, nightmares, dog whisperers,Gamma Ray Bursts, Nuke Baddies and sings badly but regularly in the bathroom.

 Tomatoes were sacrificed in the making of this website, contents and for the continual existence of its owner.

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