Visualised by archtomato On Saturday, July 25, 2009 at 23:01 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

I don’t think anything competes with a magic act for humiliating entertainment value. What is the point of the magician? He comes on, he fools you, you feel stupid, show’s over. You never know what’s actually happened. It’s never explained.

And that’s kind of the attitude the magician seems to have as he’s performing. It’s like, “Here’s a coin. Now it’s gone. You’re a jerk.” Sometimes they ask you to blow on it. There’s something mature adults like to do, blow on a deck of cards.

I also love that little pretend look of surprise they do when the trick works. Like, “Oh, I didn’t know that was going to happen myself. I even amaze me.”

ps: Magic my a$$.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Bumping Around 
Visualised by archtomato On Sunday, July 19, 2009 at 19:34 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

When I was a kid, my favorite ride was the bumper cars. What a wonderful fantasy of the driving experience as it could be. All confrontation, no destination. That’s what the bumper cars are. Driving as an act of pure hostility. But there was always one kid on the bumper cars that couldn’t do it. As soon as the ride got started, he’d be stuck in a pack of empty cars, usually ending up with the attendant hanging off that big pole, helping him steer.

I always preferred a machine ride to anything live, like a pony ride at the zoo. There’s always a creepy guy that runs it. He’s depressed, the pony’s depressed. The whole thing’s a big downer.

ps: Never likes ponies.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Visualised by archtomato On Monday, July 13, 2009 at 1:54 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

Hunger will make people do amazing things. I mean, the proof of that is cannibalism. What do they say? You know, they’re eating . . . “This is good. Who is this? I like this person.”

ps: I’ve never been a cannibal.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Those little short cuts 
Visualised by archtomato On Sunday, July 5, 2009 at 1:47 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

Of course we all try and save time. Cutting corners, little short cuts. But no matter how much time you save, at the end of your life, there’s no extra time saved up. You’ll be going, “What do you mean there’s no time? I had a microwave oven, velcro shoes, a clip-on tie. Where is that time?”

But there isn’t any. Because when you waste time in life, they subtract it. Like if you saw all the Rocky movies or those medical examinations in NUS, they deduct the mistakes and wastages. So you’ve got to be careful. You can take the Concorde to Europe, but if they show soul plane on the plane, you’re right back where you started from.

To me, if life boils down to one significant thing, it’s movement. To live is to keep moving. Unfortunately, this means that for the rest of our lives we’re going to be looking for boxes. When you’re moving, your whole world is boxes. That’s all you think about. “Boxes, where are there boxes?” You just wander down the street going in and out of shops, “Are there boxes here? Have you seen any boxes?” It’s all you think about.

You can’t even talk to people, you can’t concentrate. “Will you shut up? I’m looking for boxes!” After a while, you become like a bloodhound on the scent. To me, if life boils down to one significant thing, it’s movement. To live is to keep moving.

ps: To live is to keep moving.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 

Fact File

Archtomato . OxyMoron .
Laughing at Gilded Butterflies

Archtomato works in the IT security industry and has managed to convince his bosses for the past 10 years that his best work is yet to come.

Archtomato is a coffee nut, a photographer without focus, a traveler who can't read maps, a diver who floats all too easily and a champion of world peace.

He is an avid practitioner of the dark side of the force; admires Chuck Norris, Paris Hilton and collects vintage Batman comics. Just like the Horizon, Time Dilation, Flying pigs, Tax Reliefs and possibly, the "Opposition", he believes he is more of a concept than a corporeal being.

Archtomato believes that the true nature of man is decided in the battle between the conscious mind and the desires of the subconscious and that the evil of man's subconscious is often too strong to resist. The only way to win is to deny it battle.

He now lives in a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, smelly beavers, zits, herpes, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, conscription, yellow bananas, stupid people, nightmares, dog whisperers,Gamma Ray Bursts, Nuke Baddies and sings badly but regularly in the bathroom.

 Tomatoes were sacrificed in the making of this website, contents and for the continual existence of its owner.

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