Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids 
Visualised by archtomato On Saturday, March 22, 2008 at 17:45 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

It is true that theater tickets make great gifts. However, I don’t recommend buying theater tickets as gifts, I recommend buying gift certificates, and letting the gift recipient choose their own performance, date, time and seats.

This is for a variety of reasons, mainly that tickets are always non-refundable and non-exchangeable. However, attending the theater is an event that I consider of personal sanctity, one for which a theatergoer should adapt their schedule, wardrobe and behavior, not unlike visiting a religious sanctuary. I don’t believe you would want to wear your yellow boots and red tights from work to watch 1000 camels in the theater.

You can’t just press theater seats on someone and except it to be the right thing for them. Unless of course that someone is a gay gorilla that is sitting in your living room making lewd eye gestures at you that no one but you can see. You get the point.

Essentially, here’s a good rule of thumb and yeah let’s not get started about why the thumb is used to measure a rule, its feminist by nature and just plain weird. Anyways back to the topic, whether it’s pants, theater seats, or chocolate pudding, or even an underwear from the US webby now that the greenback is down, anything your butt goes into should be selected by the end user.

That is all.

Cheers.

ps: how does one fit 1000 camels in a stage …

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No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
The Salmon Under My Sweater 
Visualised by archtomato On Monday, March 10, 2008 at 9:14 Hrs | Minimum B.S.
Ok ok,

With the mundane routine in our lives –  work, play, eat sleep continuum subtly guiding our lives, i think sometimes we refuse to see the new things that happen everyday.
Just this week alone i learnt quite a few new things.

What I've learned so far:
1. How to take a shoe imprint out of snow (hot sulfur, interestingly enough).
2. Paint chips are used in identifying criminals, but there needs to be at least eight layers of paint in the chip for it to be admissible.
3. I hate medieval history.
4. People weigh lesser when they die.
5. I automatically take people with British accents more seriously because they seem smarter.
6. I hate people with British accent.
7. Death is not funny, but people are funny. I would like to add to that that sex is funny, but dead people having sex isn't.
8. All fantasy writers are nice, except for the three assholes, and everyone knows who they are.
9. The Best Little Girl in The World is actually a movie about bulimia
10. A search for "failure" yields a top hit for the US president in google.

11. No two things can exist at the same place at same time, it creates a Paradox.

O and by the way, i overheard this riddle in the bus. And like hell i cant get an answer. Any suggestions? "I have no mother and no father and was born without skin. I made a noise at birth and haven't made a sound since. Who am I?"

So what have you learned today?

Cheers
ps: While penning this post script i realized the answer for the riddle.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
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Archtomato

Archtomato . OxyMoron .
Laughing at Gilded Butterflies

Archtomato works in the IT security industry and has managed to convince his bosses for the past 10 years that his best work is yet to come.

Archtomato is a coffee nut, a photographer without focus, a traveler who can't read maps, a diver who floats all too easily and a champion of world peace.

He is an avid practitioner of the dark side of the force; admires Chuck Norris, Paris Hilton and collects vintage Batman comics. Just like the Horizon, Time Dilation, Flying pigs, Tax Reliefs and possibly, the "Opposition", he believes he is more of a concept than a corporeal being.

Archtomato believes that the true nature of man is decided in the battle between the conscious mind and the desires of the subconscious and that the evil of man's subconscious is often too strong to resist. The only way to win is to deny it battle.

He now lives in a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, smelly beavers, zits, herpes, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, conscription, yellow bananas, stupid people, nightmares, dog whisperers,Gamma Ray Bursts, Nuke Baddies and sings badly but regularly in the bathroom.


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