A Bag Full of Jawea 
Visualised by archtomato On Thursday, November 27, 2008 at 16:00 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

I was watching this circus act on YouTube the other and found it really amusing. I mean really amusing.

The hardest part of being a clown, it seems to me, would be that you are constantly
referred to as a clown. “Who is that clown?” “I’m not working with that clown.” “Did
you hire that clown?” “The guy’s a clown.”

How do you even know that you want to be a clown? I guess you just get to a point
where your pants look so bad it’s actually easier to become a clown than have the
proper alterations done. Because if you think about it, a clown, if there isn’t a circus around them, is really just a very annoying person. What sane person would get on a car that’s loaded with more than 10 people?

The other thing would be the cheap parlor tricks they call magic. I don’t think anything competes with a magic act for humiliating entertainment value. What is the point of the magician? He comes on, he fools you, you feel stupid, show’s over. You never know what’s actually happened. It’s never explained. And that’s kind of the attitude the magician seems to have as he’s performing.

It’s like, “Here’s a coin. Now it’s gone. You’re a jerk.” Sometimes they ask you to blow on it. There’s something mature adult “magicians” like to do, blow on a deck of cards. I also love that little pretend look of surprise they do when the trick works. Like, “Oh, I didn’t know that was going to happen myself. I even amaze me.”


ps: American Dad! That’s a miracle

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Working for Caligula 
Visualised by archtomato On Sunday, November 23, 2008 at 6:49 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

I like almost any kind of work. I don’t know what my problem is. But I’ve learned to
kind of keep this fact quiet as it seems to make people uncomfortable.
I don’t know why but there’s always this tremendous peer pressure around workplaces to assume that everybody hates working, hates their job, and every second they’re at work is pure pain.

Why do people who work in offices have pictures of their family on their desk
facing them? Do they forget that they’re married? Do they say to themselves, “All
right. Six o’clock. Time to hit the bars and pick up some chicks. Hold it a second,
look at this picture. I got a wife and three kids. I completely forgot! I better get


ps: Office Politics blows.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous 
Visualised by archtomato On Tuesday, November 18, 2008 at 15:04 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

THE Bad Thing Happened;

Something that I had not hoped for;

I am trying to repress it;

Pray with me everyone.


ps: Repressed Memory.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
Can you feel my finger 
Visualised by archtomato On Sunday, November 16, 2008 at 6:42 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

I was in front of an ambulance the other day, and I noticed that the word ambulance
was spelled in reverse print on the hood of the ambulance. And I thought, “Well, isn’t
that clever.”

I look in the rear-view mirror, I can read the word ambulance behind me.
Of course while you’re reading, you don’t see where you’re going, you crash, and you
need an ambulance. I think maybe they’re just trying to drum up some business on the
way back from lunch.


ps: I so dig the paramedics though.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
The man from Suri 
Visualised by archtomato On Friday, November 7, 2008 at 6:48 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

There was once a man from Suri;

Who wiped his ass with a poori;

The puri was thin;

And his finger slipped in;

[Expletives and adult content censored. Please login to view full poem]


ps: That man is one sick bastard.

No Tomatoes Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 
And I am One 
Visualised by archtomato On Saturday, November 1, 2008 at 16:36 Hrs | Minimum B.S.

Ok ok,

Sometimes i hear women saying, “Men can’t be trusted .. “.

O right i am only a man and therefore simple. It was the simple man who a spanned the great bridges and built the skyscrapers of the world. But yeah, they are right, all we simpletons did was to put robots out in surface of Mars , and not to mention defeating the little scrouge called communism and if i am not mistaken, it was a man who took up a pen and started to write when GOD first spoke.

So when a woman says to me that i can’t be trusted, i think she is probably right.


ps: Well, sometimes, just sometimes i really can’t be trusted.

One Tomato Squashed   •  Throw a Tomato  •  Category: Ageless 

Fact File

Archtomato . OxyMoron .
Laughing at Gilded Butterflies

Archtomato works in the IT security industry and has managed to convince his bosses for the past 10 years that his best work is yet to come.

Archtomato is a coffee nut, a photographer without focus, a traveler who can't read maps, a diver who floats all too easily and a champion of world peace.

He is an avid practitioner of the dark side of the force; admires Chuck Norris, Paris Hilton and collects vintage Batman comics. Just like the Horizon, Time Dilation, Flying pigs, Tax Reliefs and possibly, the "Opposition", he believes he is more of a concept than a corporeal being.

Archtomato believes that the true nature of man is decided in the battle between the conscious mind and the desires of the subconscious and that the evil of man's subconscious is often too strong to resist. The only way to win is to deny it battle.

He now lives in a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, smelly beavers, zits, herpes, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, conscription, yellow bananas, stupid people, nightmares, dog whisperers,Gamma Ray Bursts, Nuke Baddies and sings badly but regularly in the bathroom.

 Tomatoes were sacrificed in the making of this website, contents and for the continual existence of its owner.

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