Birthday is Bad-Day 
Visualised by archtomato On Sunday, July 16, 2006 at 4:00 Hrs | Minimum B.S.
Ok ok,

I am getting a little tired of pretending I’m excited every time it’s somebody’s birthday. I mean really, at this point, what is the big deal? How many times do we have to celebrate that someone was born? Every year, every person, over and over?

All you did was not die for twelve months. This is the big accomplishment? Nobody likes having "Happy Birthday" sung to them. Nobody likes those icky white frosting cakes. Nobody likes pretending they like the gift. (At least no one who is like me).

Tomato : "Do you really like it?"
Friend : "Yes, I do."
Tomato : "Because if you don’t, you can return it and get something else."*
Friend : "No, no, I really like it."*
Tomato : "I want to be sure you like it."*
Friend : "Yes, I love it."*
Tomato : "I had a feeling you’d like it."*
Friend : "You know, it’s perfect."*

(* These are all lies.)

There’s an entire industry of bad gifts. All those "executive" gifts, any stupid, goofy, brass wood thing, lip shaped pillows, cheap imitation watches and lame birthday cards with pre-loaded greetings.

Nothing compares with the paperweight as a bad gift. To me, there’s no better way than a paperweight to express to someone, "I refused to put any thought into this at all." And where are these people working that the papers are just blowing right off of their desks anyway? Is their office screwed to the durian shell roof of the Esplanade or do they by chance work in a wind tunnel or something?
What do you need a paperweight for? Where’s the wind coming from?

And then there’s the gift certificate. I love the gift certificate. That’s another real slap in the face, isn’t it? It’s got that little, bogus border around the edge, so it looks real official. It’s an "I-don’t-give-a-damn certificate." That’s what a gift certificate is.

 
I only present people with paper weights or gift certificates. If it’s an enemy, i give both.
 
Cheers.
ps: I celebrate Anti-Birthday Day. It falls on everyday of the calender.
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This entry was posted on Sunday, July 16th, 2006 at 4:00 am and is filed under Ageless. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

13 Tomatoes thrown at Article: “Birthday is Bad-Day”
  1. Anonymous says:

    how do u come up with such topics?? i tink ur bday is around the corner?

    i have never celebrated my bday.. feel sad tat no1 actually wants to do smtg special for me. grrr. sad.

  2. Anonymous says:

    If you don’t like birthdays, den surely you desrved to dye.

  3. die! says:

    “surely you deserved to dye!” where did you get schooled? the school should self immolate…

  4. Archtomato says:

    To Anonymous 1 : Be grateful you r still alive.

    To Anonymous 2 : Look at die!’s remarks. Please try again.

    To die! : Thank You

  5. Anonymous says:

    wad shld i do abt sulky, arrogant, proud, rude relatives? i cnt seem to live hapily, with them in my life. everyting i do or decision i tke seems to gt affected by them.. grr.. gimme a sound advice tomato. i rely on ur expertise.

  6. Archtomato says:

    Everytime you see a asshole relative, You give him/her a “Stone-Cold” Stunner.
    You give them a stunner when they greet you ..
    You give them a stunner when they ask you about your future …
    Hell, you give them a stunner when they even start to open their mouth …
    Finally you give them a stunner for every 10 stunner they clock.

    After a while they will understand to keep away or they will in coma.
    Either way, you will be safe.

    Cheers
    ps: Go look up what a “Stone-Cold Stunner” is … please sunt pose the question back here.

  7. Anonymous-thegood says:

    1stly thank u for your advise.

    2ndly : wholaoooo.. the stone-cold stunner seems such a harsh ting to do. i am some1 who doesnt even harm an ant…

    3rdly : that bitchy cousin has sent me a smile on frensta. so now wad do i do ?

    4thly : y is it difficult to understand people? or is it that they want to make our life difficult by wanting to be difficult.

    grrrrr.

  8. Archtomato says:

    Answer to all your questions: STUN THEM
    Make them understand you.
    STUN THEM

  9. Anonymous - the one says:

    hello! i am sorry to bother you. it just occured to me. so i tot y not just give it a try n see hw lucky i am..

    onum perusa yethuvum illai, i just want to know how u did the time rotating tingy on ur main page. cos i am doing an assignment on web page designing so i cld include tings like these stuff, i willl probably gt more pts..

    so if u dnt mind, care to share the code?

    if u mind, i totally understand.

    i wnt regret asking u no matter wad the outcome is.

    atleast, i tried! isnt tat the most impt ting fr anything ?

    mikka nandri!

    P.S. ohhhh btwwww, if u decide to help me, konjam seekirama code release panna i will b grateful cos have to submit the project on fri. thank u so muchhhhh

  10. Archtomato says:

    whats your email i pass you the java class and applet code.
    If you are coding in Studio languages, you might have to rewrite the codes.

    Cheers

  11. Anonymous - THE ONE says:

    omggggg!!!! ur very kind… thank u so much….

    i am just using notepad btw.

    thank u once again.

    u will gt my add realli soon thru some of my other source.. sorri dnt wana display it here…

  12. Anonymous - THE ONE says:

    i dnt understand the code and dnt know how to use it!!! help me…..
    arggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..

    P.S i still thank u fr sharing the code.

  13. Anonymous - THE ONE says:

    i dnt understand the code and dnt know how to use it!!! help me…..
    arggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..

    help me! please.

    P.S i still thank u fr sharing the code.


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Archtomato

Archtomato . OxyMoron .
Laughing at Gilded Butterflies

Archtomato works in the IT security industry and has managed to convince his bosses for the past 10 years that his best work is yet to come.

Archtomato is a coffee nut, a photographer without focus, a traveler who can't read maps, a diver who floats all too easily and a champion of world peace.

He is an avid practitioner of the dark side of the force; admires Chuck Norris, Paris Hilton and collects vintage Batman comics. Just like the Horizon, Time Dilation, Flying pigs, Tax Reliefs and possibly, the "Opposition", he believes he is more of a concept than a corporeal being.

Archtomato believes that the true nature of man is decided in the battle between the conscious mind and the desires of the subconscious and that the evil of man's subconscious is often too strong to resist. The only way to win is to deny it battle.

He now lives in a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, smelly beavers, zits, herpes, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, conscription, yellow bananas, stupid people, nightmares, dog whisperers,Gamma Ray Bursts, Nuke Baddies and sings badly but regularly in the bathroom.


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