| Lighten up Meetings !!! Visualised by archtomato On Tuesday, October 25, 2005 at 12:32 Hrs | Minimum B.S. Many of you who are working might be able to relate to this: 1. Take notes in finger paint. 2. At sensitive moments, blow your nose raucously. Apologize for your sinus condition. 3. Laugh uproariously at a quip that was made 2 or 3 minutes ago. Say, “Oh, now I get it!” 4. Wear a disposable paper face mask. Tell the group: “Hey, you don’t want to catch what I’ve got!” 5. Check your watch very regularly, every 30 seconds or so. 6. Make a face like somebody beside you farted. 7. Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the real reason this meeting has been called. 8. Slowly slump in your seat. When you are about to fall off the chair, suddenly straighten up. Apologize profusely. 9. Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table. 10. Bring a noisy electric pencil sharpener. Sharpen your pencil every few minutes. 11. Complain loudly that your neighbor won’t stop touching you. Demand that the boss make him/her stop doing it. 12. Have someone deliver a large cardboard box to you in the conference room. Apologize while you sign for it. About half an hour later, have a different person deliver another one. 13. Remove your shoes and socks. Lay your socks on the table, turn each one inside out, and inspect them carefully. If anyone says anything, tell them "doctor’s orders." 14. Roll your eyes at almost everything the boss says. If addressed directly, adopt a cowering posture and stammer pitifully as you reply. Ask that he or she “not hurt you anymore.” 15. During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important point, (or at least one he/she seems to consider important), make a little noise like you are building up to an orgasm. 16. Bring a huge jar of Vaseline to the meeting. Display it prominently. 17. Stay behind as everyone else, including the boss, leaves. Thank them for coming. 18. Every so often, duck under the table. Stare in horror. Pop back up and look real scared. 19. Rubberneck at the notes of the person next to you. Copy them word for word. Subvocalize as you do. Tell them that they “understand these things better than you do.” 20. Bring a hand puppet, preferably an animal. Ask it to clarify difficult points. Cheers
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